BethanyDragon Wars: Movie Full o Suck (LINK)
April 9th 2008 00:02
Let me preface this: this is not the worst movie I've ever seen. And as far as picking out bad movies, it wouldn't have registered. Bad horror movies are the best of the worst, for the most part. My boyfriend picked this one out- he thought the trailer looked cool. I've heard of worse reasons to pick a movie, honestly.
So, the CGI work isn't too shabby. The way the movie is filmed in an agreeable way- it's not like it's shoddily filmed. This COULD be a good movie.
The weakness of this movie? The writing. The writing the writing the freaking writing. You can point to other stuff, but it comes down to that one thing.
Let's talk McGuffin for a moment. There's no way around it, the girl (Sarah, if you care) is the McGuffin. And it's not handled well- the bad guy wants her, the good guy wants her, the FBI apparently want her (I'm not sure how THEY got involved, and I've seen the dang movie). Everybody is after the girl.
And she's not particularly pro-active, she's just sort of wherever she is. Bad guy has her, that's where she is. Good guy has her, that's where she is. She may as well be a sacred stone or a mystical wastebasket (where this movie belongs).
There is also the writer's cheat- every time they get in a jam mystical old man #1 sorts things out. No attempt is made at a real solution- every time the Ethan and Sarah are rescued, you can bet The Old Man had something to do with it. The first time was okay, by the third time you're rolling your eyes. "Oh, look, it's Jack AGAIN."
It's written by the director, who has only written one film before. And, yeah, it shows. This is writing at it's clumsiest, with the cheapest and dirtiest plot escapes written in- poorly.
There are lots of things that can be forgiven in a movie. Sometimes the director doesn't have the budget and can't get the look of the film up to scratch, or the digital effects are shoddy (for the same reason). But horrible writing is inescapable.
You think big action movies are poorly written? In comparison, the Die Hard movies look like Shakespeare.
When you're rooting for the villain to just get the dang movie over with...
By the way, long ending is LONG.
Unless you're a masochist who watches bad movies for fun (yes, like me) avoid this movie at all costs.
So, the CGI work isn't too shabby. The way the movie is filmed in an agreeable way- it's not like it's shoddily filmed. This COULD be a good movie.
The weakness of this movie? The writing. The writing the writing the freaking writing. You can point to other stuff, but it comes down to that one thing.
Let's talk McGuffin for a moment. There's no way around it, the girl (Sarah, if you care) is the McGuffin. And it's not handled well- the bad guy wants her, the good guy wants her, the FBI apparently want her (I'm not sure how THEY got involved, and I've seen the dang movie). Everybody is after the girl.
And she's not particularly pro-active, she's just sort of wherever she is. Bad guy has her, that's where she is. Good guy has her, that's where she is. She may as well be a sacred stone or a mystical wastebasket (where this movie belongs).
There is also the writer's cheat- every time they get in a jam mystical old man #1 sorts things out. No attempt is made at a real solution- every time the Ethan and Sarah are rescued, you can bet The Old Man had something to do with it. The first time was okay, by the third time you're rolling your eyes. "Oh, look, it's Jack AGAIN."
It's written by the director, who has only written one film before. And, yeah, it shows. This is writing at it's clumsiest, with the cheapest and dirtiest plot escapes written in- poorly.
There are lots of things that can be forgiven in a movie. Sometimes the director doesn't have the budget and can't get the look of the film up to scratch, or the digital effects are shoddy (for the same reason). But horrible writing is inescapable.
You think big action movies are poorly written? In comparison, the Die Hard movies look like Shakespeare.
When you're rooting for the villain to just get the dang movie over with...
By the way, long ending is LONG.
Unless you're a masochist who watches bad movies for fun (yes, like me) avoid this movie at all costs.
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Comment by Cibbuano
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Comment by Bethany
Martian Movies
That's what this movie is.
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
I totally agree with your assesment. I was looking forward to this and got to go to the Premiere when i was in New York. (Even met the Director), so disappointing.
I did a review for it at the time which you can read HERE which includes a photo of me with the Director.
Comment by Bethany
Martian Movies
I watched the extra features and apparently the director was trying to make it 'more appealing to western audiences'. I think I'm insulted.
I will say that if the whole move had been the ending- the two giant serpents whooping up on each other- all would be forgiven. And I loved the CG dragon that was very much an Eastern style dragon- but we had to sit through an hour and ten minutes of stilted dialog, a script that doesn't make any sense, and I'm STILL not sure how the FBI got involved. Just kind of a bummer, because the movies that COULD have been awesome are the saddest, I think.